Lets all Give ABC a Standing Ovation

She was right... again.

Tumblr it is..

Handsome

uh

We gave the cat away. I hated her. and her constant meowing. Also, I'm not sorry.

Ms. Marjorie Stewart-Baxter

Crucified

We bought Reverend his second monkey toy today and it's already a slaughter house.

Only in the sallaD

Chris sent me this picture the other day and I just now thought it was funny enough to talk about again. Could be because I no longer think the pile of doggy Halloween costumes sitting in the corner of our living room are funny. The man loves a good deal.

Rape Assistant

Visiting the Farm

The DJ was serious

Chris had some help from Mr. Evan Williams and together they showed off their moves on the skate floor.

Blading is Back

I've been craving a little bit o dat old fashioned roller skating lately. Lucky for me Missouri has multiple skating rinks. Even more luck: for $3 extra you can score blades.

The Show Me State

Meet Uncle Max.


























We all know the reverent Mr. Weiss.



The molestation that quickly ensued after the two met:

This has been on repeat for the last 36 hours.

I want it

Chris showed me this video last night and I've watched it 20 times since then.

Top 10 Reasons Why I Already Hate Fall 2009

Someone needs to work on coordination skills

F-I-R-G-N-A Spells Virginia

1. Chris ordered multiple PBRs in Stella glasses.
2. Virginia and Chris sexually harassed every taxi driver we met.
3. We didn't make it to the circus.
4. We did make it to a bar called 'Double Wide'.
5. Chris' liver barely survived.

Reverence Please

After having puppy for a month, we finally named him. The Reverent Reverend Weiss. These pictures are from one of the first weeks we had him. I will update with new ones soon. And by soon I mean the next time I think about it which will probably be another month.

The New Dog's All White Call Him John McCain?

I let him pee on my floor.

Somebody's brilliant at Scrabble...

It's me.

Jump rope madness

You're welcome

Zoo = Multiple Tantrums

I've been throwing 10 year old fits to be taken to the zoo for the last month. My tantrums were not in vain. Thursday we hit up the Dallas zoo. A few things we didn't consider...

1. It was 100 degrees. Literally.
2. Animals hide in the shade when it's hot.
3. Animals smell like shit.
4. There are a lot of weird people at the zoo.
5. They don't actually sell the animals there.
6. Satan is real and he is an alligator.
7. Tantrum number two would be me wanting a penguin. I think I threw a shoe and screamed "If you love me you'll get me a penguin".
8. Kids are annoying and they are always at the zoo.
9. Tantrum number three: I want a meerkat.
10. A certain race of people that can't speak English and wear pocketless jeans cover 90 percent of the zoo area.

Lesson learned.

My New Top 5

Calling all fans of The Wire: I'm having to update my Top 5 list earlier than expected this year and it's all because of the damn wire. Marlo has taken out too many men I thought could never be bumped from my list. He did it with such ease, passion, and ironically (but not really ironic at all) with a huge glock in his pants.

Ashley's Updated Top 5

Five: Matt Damon Bourne Series Style - For all of the obvious reasons. He's a lover, he's a fighter and he has a bad memory, like me. Also, he seems to always be wearing a tight gray shirt. I have a soft spot for tight gray shirts.

Four: Robert Downey Jr - The music video for Elton John's song I want Love did this to me. He is perfect...and wearing a tight gray shirt. If Elton John were smart he would have RDJ mouthing all of his jams. Oh God. I just watched it again. He won't stop looking right at me.

Three: Jerry Seinfeld - I've had a creepy crush on Jerry Seinfeld since I was 12 and first became obsessed with Seinfeld. I continuously see the people in my life as characters on his show. Even while wearing tennis runners, button down shirts, and high wasted jeans, I still love Jerry. Always funny. Always making fun of people. Always bothered by something. Never satisfied. I love him.

Two: MARLO Stanfield - Oh God. When I googled him (which I do randomly throughout my day) one of the image results described him as "Marlo: A heartless drug lord on The Wire". No wonder I'm so in love. Spoiler Alert--- They aren't over-exaggerating.

One: Al Pacino - Sorry, he's practically unbeatable to me. The drugs, the guns, the Godfather, the wine, the meetings, the suits, the killings, basically the whole mobster thing...it gets me every time.